"Are you feeling better now? If you improve a bit more, you can start moving around."
"…Yes, I'm okay."
Kazimir, with his shoulders slumped, mumbled. Despite having some time to calm down after encountering the murderer in the alley, his face was still pale. The marks on his neck and the bruises from Adrian's teachings had completely disappeared. Truly monstrous recovery. It seemed his emotional wounds were greater than the physical ones.
"To think I got defeated by a mere human despite receiving the young master's teachings… I am not worthy to be by his side."
"Don't think like that. From what I heard, it was a situation where anyone could get hurt. How could you dodge an attack when someone suddenly comes at you with a knife? Besides, the guy was huge."
"If the young master finds out about this... I should die. I deserve to die. It's unthinkable for someone who got defeated by a human to be by his side. I should just smash my head on the ground and die right here."
"Hey, hey! Wait, wait, calm down! There are situations you can't avoid!"
Suddenly, Kazimir jumped up and tried to smash his head on the ground. Ugh, he's heavy. Even with all my strength pulling his arm, his forehead was about to hit the floor.
"I was given the honor to stay by the young master's side, but I have betrayed that trust. Yes, it's better for this useless body to die. If I get reborn as a human, maybe I'll be useful. And if I'm still useless, I'll die again, and again... Perhaps after being reborn several times, I'll become useful someday. So…"
The chance of being reborn with better conditions than his current body seems low. Oh no, now he's really trying to hit the rock! Suddenly on a suicide route!
"Kazimir, think carefully. The young master doesn't know what happened a while ago, does he? I won't tell him either. We'll just pretend we don't know. See how my hands are still trembling? Ugh, it's embarrassing. But look at you! You're perfectly fine! You're amazing! You are exactly where you should be, by the young master's side."
"Pretending it didn't happen won't erase the fact. I deserve to die. I must complete my loyalty through death."
"Uh, uh... If you die now, what about Avril? She must be waiting for you! If you get reborn, she won't recognize you. Are you okay with that?"
"Avril?"
His intense struggle suddenly ceased. I almost fell on my butt from the rebound but managed to steady myself.
"Right. You might recognize Avril no matter what she looks like, but she might not recognize you. It would be confusing for her."
"Yes, she would be very confused. So calm down and let's go back. It's late at night. How about staying at the orphanage for the night? You can see Avril after a long time!"
"What? Can I really?"
Ugh, so cute. He was shouting so excitedly that my ears were ringing. I stepped back, rubbing my tingling ears.
"Sure. You said you got a room in the basement because there weren't enough rooms in the dormitory, right? You haven't slept comfortably, have you? I'll explain to the young master when I get back, so go to the orphanage and get a good rest."
"Then, Hilda, will you come to the orphanage with me? Actually, I left without telling Avril that I work for the Count's household. She must be really mad."
"What? So you're technically missing right now?"
"Well… you could say that. So please come with me and explain. When Avril gets mad, I can't say anything because she's so cute. Please."
It's not just "you could say that," it's completely that. This is a situation where he could get reported missing and taken back to the Count's household.
"Why do I have to talk when you're the one who caused the trouble? Go and explain calmly. She'll be happy you got a good job, won't she? You said you'll spend all your salary on the orphanage."
"She'll probably get really mad before I can say that. It won't take long. Hilda, please, please, please, please."
He clung to my sleeve, pleading so desperately that I couldn't refuse. It's already very late, and I can't just ignore a boy who almost died. Sighing deeply, I looked at the bright moon in the night sky.
"I guess I have no choice. I'll just stop by for a bit, say a few words, and come right back."
"Great! This way, Hilda. This way!"
He was already far ahead, waving at me. Does he love going to the orphanage that much? It's like an invisible tail is wagging like a propeller. I was already busy looking after Adrian, and now I feel like I have another troublesome puppy. The problem is, I don't dislike either of them.
The orphanage was on the outskirts of town, and it took some time climbing a hill before its outline started to appear. The day felt long, and I was out of breath by the time we reached the middle of the hill.
The excited puppy was already at the orphanage, waiting while panting. Gesturing for Kazimir to go inside first, he turned and knocked on the door. The person who opened it was… probably Avril?
"You bastard! How dare you come crawling back here after disappearing without a word!"
Just as I thought I could watch their warm reunion from a distance, I saw Avril punch Kazimir in the stomach. With a thud, he staggered back. Huh? This is different from what I expected. Taken aback by the unexpected violence, I stopped in my tracks.
"Ouch, ouch. Avril, I'm sorry. I missed y—"
"You crazy idiot! You say you missed me and yet disappeared without a word? Didn't I tell you to say something if you were going somewhere? Where have you been with that body of yours? Tell me right now!"
"Ugh. I was at the Palzgrave mansion…"
"What? You went to such a place alone? Selfish bastard, just die, okay? Just die. I've been looking for you and haven't slept for three days!"
At first glance, it seemed like a girlfriend's loving scolding, but seeing her target only his vital points like his solar plexus, it was clear this wasn't just a cute couple's spat. So this is the Avril he always wanted to keep in his pocket.
Hmm, judging by her anger, if she were in his pocket, she'd probably tear through the clothes and escape. He said she was cute when angry, but it might be that he doesn’t get a chance to explain because she hits him without letting him speak.
"A-Avril. I really missed—"
"If you missed me so much, you could have sent a letter! Was it so hard to write a line about where you were and why? You idiot, fool!"
At first, I wondered how she could hit someone so hard right after meeting them, but listening to her, it seemed a bit pitiful. How much did she miss him to resort to such violence and swearing? On second thought, since Kazimir is a werewolf, calling him a "dog" isn't really an insult. And being hit by a girl like her probably doesn't hurt much, plus he heals like a monster.
I envy his recovery power. When I get hurt, it costs a fortune to heal. If I get seriously ill, I might need to pay a billion gold.
"Wow! It's Kazimir! Where have you been, you fool?"
"Kazimir is here? Kazimir, Kazimir!"
At that moment, a bunch of kids rushed out of the orphanage and clung to him. I thought they might stop Avril, but no, they started hitting him too. I brought him home to rest, and now he's getting beaten up again. Is Kazimir destined to get hit wherever he goes?
"Everyone move, I want a piggyback ride!"
"Wait. He's getting hit by big sis right now. She said not to interfere when she's hitting him."
"I want to hit him too!"
"Me too!"
"Me too!"
"Let's wait our turn. Everyone, line up!"
The kids even lined up to hit Kazimir. Avril was still hitting him, so their turn hadn't come yet. Hmm, I came along to explain things, but now I have no chance to speak.
"You idiot, fool, do you know how worried I was?"
"Don't cry, Avril. It was my fault. Okay? You can keep hitting me, just please don't cry."
"You idiot, don't talk so kindly!"
Suddenly, it became heartwarming. It was a cute lover's quarrel. Watching them, I felt good until Kazimir got punched in the stomach and vomited a handful of blood. Wait a minute, this isn’t something I can just watch quietly.
"Excuse me."
"A stranger!"
"Stranger, stranger!"
"Don't follow strangers! Even if they give you candy, don't follow!"
As I approached, the kids who were lined up to hit Kazimir hid behind Avril. She lowered her fist and looked at me. Her eyes, resembling the sunset, were moist, showing she genuinely worried.
"Who…?"
"My name is Hilda. I work with Kazimir at the Palzgrave Count's household."
"Oh, sorry for not recognizing you. Kazimir must have caused you a lot of trouble, right?"
"We're sorry!"
"He caused you a lot of trouble, right?"
"We apologize!"
"Idiot, you shouldn't say 'we're sorry' to adults!"
"You say 'I apologize' instead!"
When Avril hurriedly apologized, the kids behind her each came out and mimicked her. Seeing their little mouths working hard to apologize made me laugh. This whole family is incredibly cute. The orphanage was so small and old that it seemed like it might collapse, but Avril and Kazimir, who cared deeply for each other, and the children who followed them looked very happy. I felt embarrassed for having pitied the shabby orphanage even for a moment.
"No, actually, Kazimir was recruited to our mansion quite urgently. There were so many things to handle right after he arrived that he couldn't find time to contact you. He must have been uncomfortable too, sleeping in the basement because we were short on rooms."
"Oh... I see."
"Yes. Also, Kazimir went through a lot today. I can't tell you the details because maintaining secrecy is fundamental in our household, but we sent him home to get some rest."
If she cried just from not seeing him for a few days, it's better she doesn't hear about how he was nearly strangled by a murderer.
"What do you mean by 'went through a lot'? No, you said you can't tell me. Is he hurt? Is he okay?"
"Are you okay?"
"Is Kazimir okay?"
"Kazimir said he's in pain!"
"Don't be sick. It's our fault!"
Half a dozen children clung to Kazimir's pants. One child, who seemed to have just woken up from the commotion outside, rubbed their eyes and joined the others. Despite the children hanging on him, Kazimir's gaze was fixed on Avril, as he continued to reassure her that he was fine, uninjured, and as strong as ever. It was heartwarming. Is my role here done now?
"Kazimir, I'll be going then. I'll explain everything to the young master, so don't worry and get some rest."
"Hilda, thank you!"
"Thank you, Hilda!"
"Thank you, Hilda!"
"Thank you too! Come again!"
"Take care, Miss Hilda!"
As Kazimir said goodbye, Avril and the children's voices echoed after him. I waved my hand vigorously and turned to walk down the hill.
Alright, with Kazimir taken care of, how do I get back? I'm less worried about encountering the killer again and more about not knowing the way. There doesn't seem to be any place to rent a carriage. Should I just retrace my steps and hope for the best?
"Sigh... I'm a bit tired."
After all, today has been quite eventful. I met Harrison, dealt with Kazimir's mess, stopped the fight between Rosie and Kazimir, faced the murderer. Listing it all out, it really was a monumental day. At least it ended warmly. Kazimir and Avril, bickering as they were, made a nice pair. The problem is, while watching them, I couldn't help but think of Adrian and myself.
I sighed deeply as I walked down the grassy hill. Honestly, seeing Avril and Kazimir so happy and harmonious made me imagine myself and Adrian in their place. Although the image of us surrounded by children didn't come easily to mind, just thinking about a future with him was startling. I've always been focused on leaving the game.
As I entered the village, the only light came from the occasional flicker along the empty streets. First, I need to find a place to rent a carriage. If there are any guests at the inn who arrived by carriage, I might be able to rent one from them, even if it's late.
Will Adrian be angry that I'm this late...?
"Are you planning to walk back to the mansion? You'd arrive by morning at this rate."
Just then, a very angry Adrian appeared. Oh, what a shock.
"Young master?"
"......"
"Is it really you, young master?"
I rubbed my sleepy eyes, wondering if I was hallucinating because I missed him so much. But it really was Adrian, standing there in the middle of the road with a carriage, looking upset. He was so stunningly beautiful that I was momentarily speechless. Despite the darkness of the night, he seemed to shine alone in a blue, radiant landscape.
"Yes, it's me, Hilda."
I was dumbstruck. His delicate eyes, slightly furrowed in annoyance, his lips, and his platinum blonde hair gently swaying in the breeze – how could I not love him? My heart swelled as our eyes met, thudding hard. Wow, what do I do? I must really like Adrian.
"What brings you here at this late hour?"
I barely managed to ask. Honestly, his answer didn't seem that important.
"I should be the one asking you that. Why are you out here alone at this late hour? I've heard this village has frequent murders. You should have informed me first."
Well, that's true. Even if I didn't expect to be this late, it was wrong not to report to my superior before going out. I quickly gathered myself and bowed my head.
"I'm sorry, young master. An unexpected situation arose, and I had to help Kazimir, which made me late. Even so, I should have informed you before leaving. It was my mistake. It won't happen again."
"No, that's not the point. It's just that... sigh... Where's Kazimir now?"
"......Kazimir went back to the orphanage. There was some trouble in the village, so I told him to take the day off and rest."
Again with Kazimir. Can't he talk to me without bringing him up? My good mood didn't last five minutes. Adrian's obsession with Kazimir, even at times like this, makes it hard to resent my rival who threatens my livelihood. It's pathetic.
"Kazimir... I see. Everything started with him. Hilda, get in the carriage. I need to go see him for a moment."
As his voice dropped, it sounded more resigned. His elegant irritation was unfamiliar, making me widen my eyes.
"Young master, are you angry?"
"No, how could I be angry with you? I'm not angry at all."
That familiar artificial smile appeared on his face. The same eye smile, the same lip curve, the same perfect angle. For some reason, I felt a red flag that I shouldn't let him go like this.
"Wait, young master. How about leaving Kazimir alone today? He's been through a lot and is with his family now. If you suddenly show up, it might really confuse him."
"Hilda... Are you defending Kazimir? In front of me?"
The carriage door handle he had been holding for me snapped with a crack. Oh my, how can he look so majestic even while breaking a handle? The delicate face that seemed like it would fall over at a touch now had my heart pounding for a different reason.
In the past, I might have cursed him for having a bad temper, but now... he's just overwhelmingly attractive. This must be what they call 'rose-colored glasses'. This transparent filter was fluttering over my eyes completely.
"I should have known when you started calling each other by name and acting so friendly."
Suddenly, I felt a surge of frustration. Why is he so handsome, sacred, and even cute? It's not like his eyes are only for me. If he goes around with that radiant face, everyone will be enchanted. What if he gets a proposal somewhere?
"So, there's no reason to keep Kazimir alive anymore."
"What? You want to kill Kazimir?"
You want to kill your currently popular right-hand man? I snapped to attention and asked, and Adrian narrowed his eyes. They were transparent, like a thin layer of water over a lake.
"To me, it's only natural. Since he arrived, your attention has been completely on him."
He took a deep breath, as if trying to calm down, and then looked up. A strange anger passed through his eyes like a knife.
"You're talking about yourself, right? That you've been thinking about Kazimir, focused on him."
"Not me, you. Hilda, I'm talking about you."
"What? No, that’s you, young master. What have I done?"
"Don't pretend you don't know. You've always prioritized others over me. Not just Kazimir. You’ve always been like that, sneaking around to meet others, spreading your affections everywhere, and only recently giving me a genuine smile. Like soothing a crying child, those occasional faces you showed me... sigh."
"......"
"But I’ve always thought only about your smile, just that."
As he struggled to suppress his anger, I found myself utterly confused. Who kept going on about Kazimir all the time, and now he was saying something about who cared for whom? I needed someone to translate this for me, but his final words snapped me back to attention.
"Hold on a second. I like seeing you smile too, you know. Probably even more than you do."
"I've liked it for a very long time, Hilda. Don't even try to compare."
"How long are we talking about? I bet I've liked it longer. For me, it was... when I was hanging out the laundry! Since then!"
"How funny. For me, it was even before the stables."
"......"
"See? I was right."
When I shut my mouth, Adrian looked triumphant. I was annoyed; I shouldn't have shown my cards first.
"Not knowing how I feel... you always put others before me. But for me, you were always the first."
"When... when did I ever put others before you?"
I was speechless. I thought Adrian was always my priority, and I felt unfairly treated. When I asked in disbelief, Adrian twisted his mouth into a smile. It was a smile filled with murderous intent, yet my face oddly grew warm.
"Do you plan to deny it? Hilda, I could even name them. The ones you showered with your affection."
"So what? Who said you were less important than them?"
"......"
"In my heart, there's only you, Young Master."
His tone was calm, but as Adrian listened, his demeanor slowly changed. From dawn to noon, from sunset to night, it was a slow but definite transformation.
"Hilda, could it be...?"
"Yes, from start to finish, it's only ever been you."
"......"
"But you were always looking for Kazimir. You wanted to hand over all my duties and push me away. So, how can you say now that you weren't a priority for me? Every time I saw you, it was always Kazimir this, Kazimir that..."
"......"
"The only one who wanted to stay by your side was me."
As I spoke, my tone turned into a grumble. Lately, he kept looking for that dog all the time. As I recalled all the moments Adrian brought up Kazimir in front of me, I couldn't help but feel bitter. I glanced at Adrian, who seemed half out of it, and climbed into the carriage. It was only after I sat down that Adrian hurriedly pushed the door open and came in.
He seemed to be on the verge of breaking the door as he did with the handle earlier. Pathetically, despite feeling sulky, my heart started racing at his imposing figure. Eventually, I might even applaud his ruthless efficiency in killing someone, admiring how cleanly he could snap their neck.
"Hilda, am I... the only one? Truly?"
"Why are you following me? Didn't you say you were going to see Kazimir?"
"Please answer me, I beg you."
He grabbed my hand, his eyes desperate. His fingertips seemed to tremble, and I had no choice but to repeat what I said.
"Yes, that's right. It's only you, Young Master."
"......"
"Young Master? Did you hear me? Only! You! Young Master! Only you!"
Maybe he didn't hear me? He didn't respond, so I repeated it several times. Suddenly, he seemed to collapse in front of me, sinking to the ground. He even rested his forehead between his knees, which startled me.
"Young Master! Why are you kneeling on the floor when there's a seat? Are you dizzy?"
"My heart... aches every time you speak."
He suddenly clutched his chest.
"It's like I can't breathe. Hilda, you're trying to kill me, aren't you?"
Goodness, he said his heart ached. Was it that arrhythmia I saw before? Did he have some hidden illness even Hubert didn't know about?
"Young Master. Look at me. Are you having trouble breathing? Should I get a remedy?"
"No, it's not that... I'm just too happy. So happy that I feel like the world is turning upside down."
I started to get up, but when he said it was because he was happy, I paused. A deep breath of relief flowed down my shin. Conscious of him now, I curled my toes. It was nothing when I confessed my feelings, but hearing him say he was happy made me strangely tense. My head felt slightly dizzy, but it wasn't from drowsiness.
"Hilda, listen. It's just that... I couldn't stand it when you started following Kazimir around."
"......"
"Kazimir was only meant to take over your duties. Nothing more. I hated that as your work increased, our time together decreased. But for some reason, you started following him, calling his name, and being friendly."
Friendly? Was there a time like that? Most of the time, I was glaring at him, looking for excuses to kick him out or assert my dominance.
"Then I realized. Unlike me, he wasn't cursed. He didn't need sacrifices. It wasn't strange for you to be drawn to a healthy male."
"A healthy male... Young Master, I've never looked at Kazimir that way. Not even once."
"Then why did you touch his arm like that? You even said his muscles were impressive."
"Because he kept taking my job, and I was looking for an excuse to hit him. His wide arms were perfect for that."
"......"
"I hit him pretty hard. You must not have noticed."
His face, full of suspicion, slowly relaxed, and when I finished speaking, an exclamation mark seemed to pop above his head. He looked like a quest NPC, which I found cute.
But something was off. Saying Kazimir was perfect implied Adrian felt he was imperfect. Despite his curse, Adrian might have been feeling unnecessary inferiority because of me. Whether he was healthy or sickly, I would have liked him regardless. In fact, seeing him pale and faint made my heart race in a certain way. I should keep that to myself, though, as it might freak Adrian out if he knew.
"Is that why you were upset? Because I seemed close to Kazimir?"
"What do you think?"
"I bet you were at least as upset as I was."
"Upset... that's a cute way to put it."
He tilted his head and looked up at me. His hair gently brushed my knees, tickling them slightly. His intense gaze seemed to be recalling some memory, but I could only smile. It was hard to believe I was ever scared of Adrian; now, he just seemed adorable.
"So, we were both misunderstanding each other. I thought you didn't need me anymore, and I was heartbroken."
"That's not true. How could I ever not need you? But if I made you feel that way, it was entirely my fault. Please forgive me."
So it was all a misunderstanding. Adrian looked up at me, who was feeling deflated from the revelation. The situation made it seem like he was kneeling in apology, which was absurd considering his high status. I quickly got up and waved my hands.
"Young Master, please get up. What if someone passes by and sees inside the carriage?"
"I'm begging you, Hilda."
"There's nothing to forgive. I misunderstood too. Please get up, quickly."
When I shook his arm vigorously, he reluctantly stood up. He really needed to stop acting so extreme.
"Alright. I wanted to talk privately too. Let's go back to the mansion."
"What? We can continue talking on the way."
"Shh, I don't want the coachman to hear your voice."
His whisper sent a shiver down my spine as his lips brushed against my earlobe. Reflexively, I swallowed and covered my ear with my hand. My heart pounded loudly, as if it had moved to my ear.
Seeing my reaction, Adrian smiled briefly and opened the carriage window. As the carriage started moving, he locked the auxiliary latch, sat beside me, and tapped the seat, inviting me to sit. I sat down but kept covering my ear until he gently pulled my hand away.
"Instead of worrying about me, how about you control yourself? I've seen you charming everyone around you."
He liked to interlace his fingers with mine, pressing our palms together tightly. Unable to move, I could only wiggle my fingertips slightly.
Although he was sitting beside me, Adrian had turned his body completely toward me, as if facing me directly. His innocent eyes seemed to say, "What did I do?" which made me pout.
"Don't pretend you don't know. At every birthday party and every trip to the village, you always gathered everyone's attention."
"Did I? I didn't notice because I was only looking at you."
Adrian whispered in a low voice, as if sharing a secret. Memories of catching his gaze every time I tried to look at him during the birthday party made my face flush. I thought it was a coincidence, but he had been watching me the whole time...?
"Hilda, if I ever enchanted anyone, it was solely to catch your attention. I might even fall further, becoming irredeemable."
"......"
"Of course, you wouldn't want that. So please, don't spend too much time focusing on other people."
He's so good with words! It’s infuriating! No matter what he whispered, I pressed my nails into his hand. He whimpered in exaggerated pain, making me stop quickly, but I really wanted to press harder. Where did he learn to smile so mischievously?
I tried to pull my hand away, but Adrian stretched out his arm to hold me tight, as if afraid I might run away. We spent the long journey back to the mansion playing this hand game. He seemed to enjoy holding me tightly, making the time fly by.
"It looks like we're almost there. Hilda, can we continue our conversation? I don’t mind if it takes until tomorrow."
He firmly held my hand and looked out the window. Despite the deep night and thick fog, he seemed to see the mansion. I couldn't see anything, so I blinked my tired eyes and followed him.
"Here seems appropriate. No one will come at this hour."
"Is this a greenhouse in the garden? I've never seen it before."
The glass greenhouse was faintly visible in the moonlight, its walls covered in vines. It was so well hidden that it was easy to miss.
"Yes, it's not a place people usually visit... But it's a bit dark. Let's light it up."
As soon as he spoke, dozens of lights lit up inside the greenhouse. Wow. I stopped in my tracks, mesmerized by the sight. The floating lights immediately captured my attention.
At first, I thought they were fireflies, but they weren't living creatures. Some lights bumped into each other and flew off in different directions, while others settled on the pond, shaking off water before taking flight again. The shimmering lights, like rippling water, were breathtakingly beautiful.
"Hilda, come here."
Night, floating lanterns, the sound of water rippling.
As I was lost in the magical scenery, Adrian gently guided me. We walked past sprouting seedlings, plants growing crookedly and being corrected, and a small pond, heading deeper inside. It was a secluded spot where no one else would see us. Suddenly, I was lifted off the ground. Before I could let out a sound, I found myself sitting on a windowsill.
Lanterns that had appeared near the entrance flew towards us, following their master. I absentmindedly watched the flickering trails of light.
"It's so beautiful. I've never seen anything like this before."
As I carefully reached out to touch a lantern fluttering around me, it landed on my fingertip like a feather. Wow. The lantern, sparkling like a tiny bird, made me giddy with delight.
"You're even more beautiful."
When Adrian blew gently, the cluster of lights transformed into butterflies and fluttered away in all directions. As I watched the luminous butterflies scatter, I turned to see him resting his hand on the window frame. In this dreamlike scene, his eyes burned with a strange intensity. Everything felt like a dream, but the most surreal part was Adrian himself.
Failing to calm my pounding heart, I spoke with trembling lips.
"...What do I do? I think I like you much more than I realized. Of course! I mean, I care about you deeply and always want to see you."
Since saying "I like you" to a person could have peculiar implications with demons, I quickly added clarification.
"Really? You missed me?"
"Yes, I missed you. A lot... To the point where I wished you were with me every moment, even when I was with others."
Seeing no reason to hold back, I confessed everything. His grip on the window frame tightened visibly. I thought it might break under his grip, but it was already deeply indented. Considering how Rosie would fire a gun at the slightest rejection, Adrian was quite the gentleman in comparison.
"Um, Young Master. If my feelings are too much for you..."
"Too much? You really don't understand anything."
He let out a long sigh and slowly leaned towards me. As he drew closer, I instinctively leaned back, and he skillfully supported my back with his arm. He buried his nose in the nape of my neck and nuzzled it. My back stiffened, and I couldn't push him away.
"You said you felt incomplete without me. Hilda, I... I completely die inside when you're not around."
The lanterns that had been high up came fluttering down. The dark, cold night was illuminated only around us.
"Do you have any idea what a world without you is like, Hilda? How cold and hopeless that dark world is?"
"..."
"I always wanted to live in a time where you were by my side. Some days, I even wanted to turn back time just to see you. This hunger that drives me to covet forbidden powers, it can't simply be called longing. How could your feelings be a burden to me?"
As he murmured his low confession, he pressed his lips deep into the nape of my neck. Warm and moist breaths made my skin prickle. When I reflexively hunched my shoulders, he gently stroked my back to relax me.
"I love you. I can't imagine a world without you."
My breath stopped on its own. My chest trembled, rendering me speechless. Could Adrian be feeling the same way? Trembling, heart pounding...
His unusually heavy breath fell on my shoulder. Feeling his emotions rising, I hastily patted his back. His heartbeat thumped loudly, deeply resonating in my palm. Adrian was trembling too. It felt wonderful, almost painfully so, to share this feeling with him.
"I can become anything you want. Literally anything. So you don't need anyone else. It's just the two of us. Don't give your attention to anyone else."
"Young Master."
"I want your eyes only on me. I don't want anyone else to see you. I want to eliminate everything that catches your eye, everything in your sight..."
"As long as I have you, that's enough for me."
This time, his breath stopped. I cautiously moved my hand up his back and rested it on the nape of his neck. He was warm. His previously sharp anger and killing intent had completely subsided. As I patted his neck, he gradually calmed down. The sound of his heavy breathing filled the silence.
"So don't say things like you'd die without me. We need to meet again, so why talk about dying?"
He shook his head slightly. His fine hair brushed against my chin, tickling it.
"Don't worry about me being with others. You're the only one special to me."
"Kazimir..."
The hand gently stroking my back froze. Like a dragon disturbed in its lair, he slowly raised his head. His eyes were icy and a bluish flame flickered in them. That almost weapon-like murderous intent... Kazimir had been facing those eyes the whole time without realizing it. Any thought of apologizing to Kazimir for our private conversation vanished. If I mentioned it now, he'd probably go back to the village.
"Hilda, can you call me by my name too? I want to hear you say it."
What was he planning to say with that serious look? I tensed up, but his request caught me off guard. I felt my expression change awkwardly.
"What do you mean... You're my master and a high-ranking noble. How can I do that?"
"Calling me by my name is easy. Speak comfortably with me."
This is absurd. Sure, I've muttered his name countless times in my head and even cursed him as a demon brat and master brat, but saying it in front of Adrian was a completely different matter. His soft-spoken voice almost swayed me, but I forced myself to stay resolute.
"I can't do that. How could a mere servant call you by name? What if someone hears or sees it? I'd get in trouble, and it would disgrace you."
"I don't need any honor that can be lost by you calling my name. I just want to hear you say it. It would feel like a blessing each time, so please..."
"That's impossible. I'll only comply with reasonable requests."
「Adrian has fallen into deep despair.」
「Adrian's chronic condition 'Stress-Induced Headache' is triggered.」
「Adrian's chronic condition 'Stress-Induced Dizziness' is triggered.」
「Adrian is experiencing frustration.」
"Wait a minute! Alright, alright! Adrian, Adrian! Is that enough?"
「Adrian's chronic condition 'Stress-Induced Headache' disappears.」
「Adrian's chronic condition 'Stress-Induced Dizziness' disappears.」
"Can you say it again? My name."
"...A-Adrian."
This demon is now threatening me with his body. I know he's relatively healthy nowadays, but having seen how sick he could get, I couldn't help but overreact even to a little discomfort. Ah, whatever. If he wants me to call his name, I'll call his name. Despite my resignation, I mumbled in a voice as tiny as an ant's. He leaned his forehead against my shoulder again.
"Call me again. More."
"Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. Are you satisfied now?"
"Just once more."
"Ha, really... Only when we’re alone. When others are around, I will definitely call you 'young master.'"
"You haven't called me one more time."
"...Adrian."
"What should I do? Now I want to hear it all night. I don't want to let you go."
He pulled me back into his arms, murmuring softly. Oh, this is going to become a habit. Yet, it was a little cute how he clung to me like this.
"You promised you wouldn’t hold me for long."
"Do you trust a demon’s promise? So naive, Hilda."
"...Please let go now. I'm getting hot."
"Love must be inherently warm."
"..."
"See, your cheeks are getting hotter."
His cheek against mine was much hotter. His warmth flooded over me, making me feel even hotter. It was unmistakable how much he wanted me. Entirely, openly.
"I'll try, Hilda."
"..."
"I'll try hard."
I had no idea what he meant by that, but his desperation for me wasn't something I disliked, so I just smiled quietly. The arms around my waist tightened, yet everything that touched me was careful and gentle.
"I don’t want to let you go. If we part now, I'll only see you tomorrow morning."
His long sigh was almost despairing. Hearing these words repeatedly, it seemed Adrian had been showering me with affection for a long time already. Do I mean that much to him? I felt embarrassed and fidgeted my fingertips. His warmth enveloping me didn't lessen. Was it that hot?
[ hey there, sorry for disturbing your reading! I'm just here to make sure you are reading this from my website (https://tlbyviridescent.blogspot.com/p/surviving-as-maid-in-horror-game.html) and not somewhere else where it got reposted without my permission... that's it! ]
"I’ll come straight away when the sun rises. It'll be quick after you wake up."
"I wish I could see you the moment I open my eyes, my Hilda."
"Um, Adrian... young master. Doesn't that sound a bit strange?"
"Strange? Not at all."
"Ah... I must have imagined it then."
"Are you still not thinking about moving to the room next to mine? Of course, if you insist on staying in the servant quarters, I can’t help it."
"The Servant Quarters Map has been closed."
With a dramatic sound effect, the map closed suddenly. His words about not being able to help it were clearly a lie.
Where am I supposed to sleep if the quarters are closed? I glared at Adrian with resentment, and he innocently asked, "Hm? Hm?" Seeing his face, my brief anger melted away again. When did I become so weak to Adrian?
"Alright. I’ll reconsider moving rooms."
"Map opened! You can now go to the Servant Quarters."
"You’ve made a wise decision. Moving to the room next to mine won’t cause you any trouble. I’ll make sure of that."
It's you who'll cause me the most trouble. Even though I narrowed my eyes at him, Adrian couldn't hide his joy. Honestly, I never really wanted to go back. I stopped myself from saying it out loud. If I did, things might turn upside down.
"Do you like it that much?"
"Yes, I do. Very much."
I didn't need to hear it; I could see it. His whole-body expression of affection was enough to make my heart flutter. I found it hard to stop my mouth from curving into a smile. Why, why does he like me this much?
At first, it was certainly a small feeling. It was like a small pebble rolling underwater, gradually picking up more stones, becoming a boulder, then being wrapped in a net, rolling along the muddy bottom, and absorbing water until it grew larger, eventually becoming an ocean. I thought it was a shallow stream, but once I stepped in, it was an unfathomable abyss. It’s too late to escape now.
"Well, it’s not as much as I do. I can barely hold myself back. I feel like screaming and running around."
"Are you going to keep making my heart ache like this? I’m generous enough to forgive even if my offering runs away."
What? I didn’t expect that. If you lose an offering... wouldn't that be a bit regretful?
"Then I, I..."
"If you can’t think of anything, you don’t have to add more. You’ve already lost once, haven’t you?"
"Ugh, don’t interrupt. I... well, even if someone steals my maid uniform, I won’t be mad."
"Who would dare steal your things?"
"I mean, it's just a figure of speech. Don’t get mad."
When I stopped him, his fierce eyes softened immediately. I’ve gotten used to his quick changes in expression.
"Why do we always bicker?"
"Who knows, but I still love you even in those moments."
"Oh, but I’m not that way when we argue."
Seeing Adrian stiffen, I chuckled. Then he smiled back and pressed his forehead against mine, sharing his warmth. It felt like my skin was tingling with invisible prickles. His warm embrace made my chest ache in a good way.
Sometimes, practical issues bubbled up in my mind, but I decided to enjoy this excitement for now. Besides, with Adrian by my side, what was there to fear? Knowing we shared the same feelings made me feel invincible.
I should ask him out on a date soon, and make it grand!
That night, after exchanging the world's most extravagant confessions, I slept on a legendary pillow for the first time. As expected of a legendary pillow, my sleep was legendary too. Legendary sleep, legendary dreams, legendary blood circulation, legendary awakening... everything was legendary.
I woke up legendary, folded my blanket and put away the pillow in a legendary manner, and washed up legendary. With the 'special growth energy' buff from wearing legendary items, I saw various numbers like '+3', '+9', '+18' popping up on the experience bar just by breathing. When I opened the door, dramatic sound effects accompanied a white message.
"You have leveled up to 31."
"Title has been changed to 'First Lover of the Demon'."
Wow, I'm already level 31. Truly a legendary level-up. Soon, I can get a new skill!
The new title felt a bit embarrassing... So, this is why it was in the title change queue. I thought I was going back to being a lowly servant. Still, it felt nice to be congratulated by the system.
Oh, right, there’s someone I need to see before going to Adrian. Emily! Where could Emily be? Since it’s morning, she’s probably in the kitchen.
"Hilda!"
I was about to check her location when I heard Emily's voice. Waving excitedly, I saw Emily running towards me from across the garden.
"Emily, great timing. I was just about to look for you. I have a gift for you..."
"Hilda! I, I... I'm really sorry."
As I reached into my bag for the gift, Emily suddenly grabbed my hand, tearfully apologizing. I was utterly shocked.
“Why are you suddenly like this? What happened?”
"I didn't realize how heavy my heart would feel after we parted. I regretted it right after saying I was upset. I wanted to apologize all this time, but I was scared you'd be really angry, so I just watched you. I'm sorry, Hilda. Really, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you with those harsh words."
Tears welled up in her deep-set eyes and finally rolled down her cheeks. Huh? Sure, I was taken aback when she suddenly got upset and distanced herself, but it wasn’t something to be this sorry about. I only thought she was upset because she didn't feel as close to me as I did to her, so I never expected an apology.
"No, Emily. I wasn't hurt. I'm the one who should apologize. Okay? So, please don't cry."
"Okay. Sniff... okay. I thought we were drifting apart..."
"That's not true at all. I should have talked to you sooner. I'm sorry. I've been so busy with the new junior staff."
I patted Emily's slender shoulders and led her to a wooden bench. I sat in the sunlight while she sat in the cool shade. My answer seemed to relieve her, and her sniffles gradually subsided.
"See, Emily? If I were angry, would I have prepared a gift for you? I was thinking about what might cheer you up."
"A gift?"
Emily hesitated but accepted what I handed her from my bag. It was a legendary maid outfit and legendary shoes, a level far above her current gray common-grade gear. As she unwrapped the items and realized their true value, her eyes widened in shock.
"No way... what is all this?"
"You heard me. It's a gift for you."
"But... is it okay for you to give me something so expensive? This would take us over a year to save up for at our pay grade."
"Of course! It's not just because of what happened; I’ve been wanting to thank you for everything. So don't feel burdened and just accept it. Don't ask if it's okay; I'm giving it to you because it's you."
"But I haven't done anything to deserve this..."
"You've done everything for me, literally."
"But still..."
"Oh, come on. I said take it without feeling burdened."
I repeatedly pushed the gift into her arms, and Emily, still holding it awkwardly, looked at me with wide eyes. Since being dragged into this game world, Emily had unknowingly been my helper. From minor tasks around the mansion to significant matters involving Adrian, she was always the first to lend a hand when I was clueless about my duties. I hadn't forgotten her quiet support.
"Thank you. Really... I'll cherish this."
"Cherishing it is great, but make sure to wear it too. Okay? Once you put this on, you might not want to take it off. You might even want to sleep in it like pajamas."
"Really? No way."
She laughed, and I laughed too, feeling like a fool.
"So, Emily, about what we talked about the other day. I actually didn't realize until you pointed it out. I never meant to hide it."
"Is that so? What about now?"
"At first, I thought it was just a trivial feeling, but I realized it wasn't. So I half-expected to get rejected when I confessed..."
"Oh my! Hilda, you confessed?"
She was so surprised that she almost dropped the gift she was holding. Her eyes were filled with surprise, excitement, and anticipation, making me feel a bit shy. I lowered my gaze.
"Yes... that junior staff member caused it..."
"The junior? You mean Kazimir? Everyone says he's strong and good at his job. A lot of the maids have fallen for him, watching him chop wood. They're all waiting for a chance to confess."
Kazimir, you dog, when did you chop wood? You have a girl you like, and you're making all the maids fall for you!
"Yes. He actually threatened my job. We were competing for the position of Adrian's personal attendant... and I ended up confessing."
As I spoke, I felt strange. It was true, but summing it up in one sentence made it seem so pathetic.
"Oh my, so you were jealous? And it seemed like he felt the same way too. So, are you two dating now?"
Emily leaned in, whispering excitedly. She had guessed I liked him before, and now she seemed to see the situation clearly from my explanation. Maybe she should change her career to relationship counseling; she’d be great at it.
But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to say we were dating. We had confessed our feelings to each other, but... does that mean we're dating? We didn’t explicitly say it, but I guess so? As I slowly nodded, Emily's emerald eyes sparkled, and she clapped her hands.
"Really! That's wonderful! If you need any help, just let me know! Oh, you're going to see him now, aren't you? Let me redo your hair, you should look your best."
"Huh? It's okay, really."
I wanted to say that no matter how pretty I looked, Adrian was always prettier, but before I could, Emily was already behind the bench, excitedly redoing my hair. My hair, loosely tied, fell over my shoulders, bringing a fresh soap scent as she undid it.
"I'm really proud of you, Hilda. For bravely confessing your feelings. It’s hard to be the first to speak up when you're not sure about the other person's feelings, especially considering the difference in status."
Emily spoke kindly as she combed my hair with her fingers. I fidgeted with my hands and asked softly.
"Emily, do you think it's difficult for a noble and a servant to be together? It must be hard, right?"
"Well, yes, but it happens more often than you'd think. From what I've heard, quite a few manage it. I don't remember the names exactly, but there was a baron who married a servant 50 years younger, and a duke’s son who eloped for love. There are many more who secretly get married. They might be shunned by society, but it happens."
Shunned by society... Given the hierarchical nature of society, backlash was expected, but hearing it made it more real.
"But don't worry too much. The Paltzgrave family isn’t easily shunned. And he won't let anything make things hard for you. I know that. Oh! By the way, we have Homecoming Day in a few days, right? The mansion will be quiet, so you can have some quality time together."
"Huh? Homecoming Day?"
"It's the day when the servants go home once a year! It's a big event after the annual cleaning. Everyone’s excited to show off to their families and neighbors. Dorothy bought an expensive outfit with her saved wages, boasting about the cashmere fabric and white lace collar. She's imagining how envious everyone will be. Hilda, are you staying at the mansion?"
Since I don't have a hometown to return to. As I nodded, Emily seemed to interpret it differently and smiled gently.
"Right, you need to stay by his side. Imagine how much he'd miss you if you were gone? Actually, I think I'll stay at the mansion this year too. I, um... I recently got a boyfriend."
"What! A boyfriend!"
"Shh, Hilda, shh. Everyone will hear."
Homecoming day and everything else flew out of my mind. What? Emily has a boyfriend? Who is he? She once got shy over a love letter; is it that guy?
"Actually, I wanted to tell you last time but couldn't. I wanted you to be the first to know. I'll tell you who he is later. Shh, it's a secret."
"Who are you hiding? Is he from the mansion?"
"Yeah, he works here now. Oh, it's done. Your hair looks beautiful."
While I was engrossed in the conversation, it seemed my hair was all done. Without a mirror, I touched the back of my head. Unlike my usual high ponytail, it was braided halfway down. It's a style I could never do on my own.
"Thanks, Emily. I've never had my hair like this before."
"Don't mention it. We're friends. Now go, Hilda. The young master must be waiting for you."
"What about the rest of the story?"
"We'll talk on homecoming day. Just the two of us, somewhere quiet."
Although it was disappointing, talking outside was indeed risky. After parting ways with Emily and checking to ensure no one overheard us, I left. We had been whispering quietly, so probably no one heard us.
Anyway, I learned a lot today. About homecoming day, what happens to nobles and their servant lovers, and even about Emily's new boyfriend. Even though I still felt the looming threat of being kicked out of the game, hearing that my relationship with Adrian could make him a social pariah dampened my spirits a bit. Did I confess without any plans...?
"Hilda, you're back?"
But as soon as I saw Adrian, any regret vanished. With one loving look, the world turned rosy, and a smile from him made flowers bloom everywhere. The fact that the person I love loves me back is already a miracle, so what else should I fear? Even if I have no plans, I felt an unfounded confidence that I could face anything as it comes.
"Why are you standing there? Come sit down, Hilda. Give me your hand. Put it on the table."
"Why... What are you going to do?"
Barely managing to control my lips from curling up, I sat across from Adrian. If he asked me to put out my hand before, I would've thought he wanted to cut it off. But now,
it was the opposite. My heart pounded loudly just by sitting across from him, and I couldn't easily put out my hand. As I kept my hands hidden under the table in nervousness, Adrian smiled sweetly.
"I picked these flowers in the morning to make you a bracelet."
"A bracelet?"
"Yeah, I was practicing while waiting for you. Now I can braid it well."
He spoke as if he had accomplished a great feat. Looking down, I saw a mess on the table—petals and broken stems, remnants of his practice. It reminded me of making rings from dandelions as a child, something I hadn't done since starting school.
When I finally placed my left hand on the table, Adrian's face lit up. He chose a few stems from a pile he had gathered and started weaving small flowers into a bracelet around my wrist.
"Your wrist is so thin. If I held it too tight, it might break."
While weaving flowers, Adrian muttered as if genuinely worried. He must have giant rose-colored glasses on. My wrist is thin compared to other parts, but it won't break from being held. How strong does he think I am? But I didn't dislike his concern, so I just cleared my throat awkwardly.
"Wait a second. Is this kalanchoe?"
Noticing the light pink petals on the bracelet, I asked just to be sure.
"Yes, it is. You know flowers well, Hilda."
Not really. On the first day of the game, I picked it for experience points and ended up with a huge compensation debt. It was the count's cherished flower, but Adrian seemed unconcerned. It only gave 5 experience points, but the fine for picking a few was 250 gold. Looks like he’s more rebellious than I thought.
Adrian continued weaving the bracelet. Every time his hands brushed mine, it felt like a little hummingbird was fluttering in my chest. He seemed entirely focused on the bracelet.
Goodness, look at his innocence. Every time our hands touched, I imagined romantic gestures from stage 1 to 100 in an instant. Am I the only one with dirty thoughts?
"All done. How does it look?"
I was singing "Am I the only one who's trash?" in my head when Adrian cautiously asked. As he withdrew his hands, he brushed against mine again, but this time it felt intentional. Barely keeping my expression in check, I looked at my wrist. The bracelet was so delicate and beautiful that anyone would believe it was store-bought.
Thin stems intertwined with colorful flowers, like a tiny wreath on my wrist. The ivory-colored flowers particularly caught my eye, and I couldn't stop staring at them for a while.
Honestly, how could anyone not like this?
"Do you like it?"
Unbelievable, I love it.
"Of course. It's the prettiest bracelet I've ever had."
Adrian's eyes sparkled with affection, seemingly satisfied with my answer. How could someone be so endearingly lovely without any sense of danger?
But he's not to blame for being adorable. He must have been adorable from birth, what could he do? Even if I give him a warning, he'll just become more adorable... What makes Adrian adorable? First, because he's Adrian. Second, because he's adorable. Third, because Adrian is adorable...
"Hey, what's this? What's written on it? It almost fell."
Discovering a piece of paper hanging off the edge, I pulled it to the center of the table. Before the translator kicked in, it looked like some kind of schedule. Didn't know he planned things out. Planning must mean being thorough in time management. Time management is one of the essential habits of successful people, right? In other words, Adrian's success is guaranteed.
And the handwriting, too. It was strong and crisp, revealing a dignified and gentlemanly demeanor. They say a person's demeanor and dignity are contained in their handwriting. With every drop of ink, elegance flowed...
"The translation process is complete."
"Zed -> Death
Marcut the Ruffian -> Killed
Kaden -> Should have been killed
The gang with Kaden -> Should have been killed
Imp -> Let's kill
Kazimir -> Let's kill
Emily -> Touched her head, should I kill her?"
Wait, what is this? My eyes widened in shock.
"Your... Highness. What is this?"
"That? It's the sight of love for you."
He responded without a hint of surprise, as if avoiding further suspicion. If innocence had a face, it would look just like his. Wow, look at him lie so naturally. Clearly caught red-handed with a hit list, and he pretends to recite poetry? Who does he think he's fooling... oh wait, he knows I got the translator.
"Is this really a poem? It seems like Emily's name is written here. Hmm, I saw Emily's name written last time."
"It's probably a similar word."
I gave him a chance to come up with a plausible excuse, but he dismissed it without mercy. It's tough trying to lead the devil's advocate!
"Ah, I see. So, could you read this 'sight of love' for me? Since it's for me, I can't ignore it."
"Oh, my Hilda. Do you know the pain of love..."
As he picked up the paper to read, he recited as if there were really a poem written on it. His gaze descended with each line, quite fascinating to watch.
Upon listening closely, it sounded like lyrics from an opera aria I heard before. I vividly remembered it because it gave me the creeps with its love's anguish. Guess I'll remember it well since I shivered at how creepy the lyrics were after getting the translator.
He's not going to say until the end, huh. I let out a heavy sigh.
"Um, Your Highness."
"I told you to call me by name, Hilda."
"Okay, Adrian. It's a sudden question, but there was something bothering me from yesterday. You said you wanted to get rid of everyone around me. That only you and I should remain."
"...Yeah, I did."
"But I think I'd be really sad if anyone around me got hurt or died. Especially if it's because of me. I don't know why, but you don't need to worry. Even as I go about my peaceful daily life, I'll always think of you. And I'll be especially happy when I meet and talk and joke with you."
"..."
"I hope you feel the same way, Adrian. Even if I'm gone for a while, I hope you'll be happy. So, please don't have such frightening thoughts."
I spoke sincerely, but did it get through? Did it?
While I glanced at him discreetly, Adrian maintained an expression that revealed nothing of his thoughts. But seeing him quietly examining the paper, it seemed like he was contemplating something... I felt a sense of relief as the flames swiftly engulfed the paper, leaving not a trace behind.
Thank goodness. Since I said this much, he probably won't think of harming anyone around us.
But I still couldn't be completely at ease. Adrian had become a blind spot in the system at some point, almost impossible to read, and he didn't reveal his true feelings. And considering the system has been malfunctioning for a while regarding him, it made me uneasy.
So, unfortunately, the artistic soul of the devil, which could massively raise favorability points, has long been unnecessary. With only ten of the second artistic soul accumulated and still zero of the third, it's impossible to produce the finished product. Damn probability lottery system.
Why is Adrian so anxious? While I'm not completely without anxiety and worries, it seemed much worse for him. It felt pitiful to see him suffering alone without expressing anything. The saddest part was that he professed his love for me, yet couldn't trust my feelings.
But my love for him is stronger than his doubts! If I keep giving him unwavering trust, won't he eventually believe in my heart?
If Adrian's distrust persists, I can endure even more. All I know is that my affection for him is genuine.
At the end of an exciting day with Adrian, I returned to my lodgings. Adrian started his nightly ranting again from sunset, and the word "next room" echoed in my ears even after returning to the lodgings.
Phew, another fulfilling day spent with Adrian.
Although getting paid to play all day is a great theft of salary, it doesn't matter because the employer played along.
Returning to the room and about to undress to take a bath, my feet stopped involuntarily. Wait, something's weird. The room... Yes, it felt like something was missing. Standing in the center and looking around, I soon realized what was missing. My pillow, neatly folded on the bed.
"My pillow."
My legendary pillow, which I had only used once last night, had disappeared like an illusion.
"Whoa, whoa! Waaaah!"
"... "
The pitiful plea of a man entered through indifferent blue eyes. The man's name was Aaron Patrick Marcott. The heir to the Marquart family, who would inherit the position of the Marquart family. Currently, he was hanging on a large cross, tormented by sins of harassing both women and men, with a mouthful of cloth stuffed in his mouth.
"Your palm has healed well. If it were still open, I might have been a bit lenient."
His gaze strangely shifted downwards to reach his palm. At that time, it was just about piercing the palm and breaking bones. It was a playful prank befitting a child.
Actually, directly killing the heir of the Marquart family was extremely risky. There were dozens of servants in this mansion, and if anyone happened to witness this scene, they would call the guards and he would be killed. The curse of the Lilith was absolute, so no matter how much he ran away, he couldn't escape.
Despite the risk, there was only one reason Adrian had come personally.
Because he had touched Hilda and had not paid the price for it.
There was no way for the punisher to let the sinner go.
"Wah! Wahwah! Waaaaah!"
Clang, clang, clang! He desperately kicked the wall, his desperate struggle evident. The large window and shield engraved with the family crest. With many gold-plated decorations hanging, it was clear what he was trying to say.
"Look at this. What do you want? Money? You need money, right? I'll give you as much as you want if you spare my life."
"Haha, interesting."
A dry laugh came out without any modulation in tone. Adrian walked slowly to the desk. When he picked up one of the apples in the basket, the struggles of the sinner intensified. Although the noise was somewhat loud, it was late at night, and even if a servant happened to pass by, they would assume he was once again enjoying his vile sexual life and ignore it.
Taking the pen rolling on the desk onto the already protruding cloth, he ignored the struggling tongue and pushed it in. Painful groans flowed out continuously. He tried to push it out with his tongue, but the force pushing it back was terribly strong. The cloth that had already been bitten down was pushed into the throat.
During this time, he was desperately trying to say something. Ah, it seemed like he was asking to be killed. Usually, the pleas of a guilty soul were not granted, but this time would be an exception.
Ignoring the tongue that was struggling to push it out and pushing it in, a lump of foreign matter bulged over the throat. Hahaha. A dry laugh came out. He suffocated to death in less than a minute. As boring as his screams, his end was equally boring.
Feeling the faint return of Satan's power, Adrian escaped through the window.
Upon returning to the mansion, he thoroughly eliminated any remnants, just in case Hilda discovered them. Touching her would invite nothing but trouble.
He thought this was love.
5 hours, 38 minutes, 49 seconds.
Adrian engraved today's time in his mind. The time Hilda saw him today, 5 hours, 38 minutes, 12 seconds. It was 13 minutes and 20 seconds shorter than yesterday's 5 hours, 51 minutes, and 32 seconds. He had been delighted yesterday, as it had increased by 1 hour and 40 minutes and 9 seconds from two days ago, but seeing it decrease so drastically today filled him with indescribable sadness.
Why did the time decrease? The fact that it dropped not in seconds, but in minutes, indicated there was a big problem. After thinking deeply about what the problem could be, he quickly reached a conclusion.
Hilda had too much to do.
The workload overflowed to the point where I didn't even realize how busy the maid was. As her exclusive maid, I felt uncomfortable about constantly being called to the kitchen or garden. I would have intervened to stop it if she had said she didn't like it, but since she didn't, I just watched her with annoyance every time.
There are too many annoying things around me.
He spent his time contemplating whether there was a way to get rid of them all without Hilda noticing. Luckily, he ran into a subordinate from Hell. It was a good thing. He could entrust the work to the loyal servant of the Wurth tribe, so he could take care of it without much difficulty.
The dream of being able to spend more time with Hilda swelled up, but it was short-lived.
"Hilda, where are you going? Kazimierz just said he has everything under control. Today, with me…"
"If Kazimierz is the closest aide, then, my lord Choe! You should teach him well. We need to see if we can continue to procure sacrifices without getting caught."
"Calling Kazimierz by his name? Hm, since when?"
"He called me by my name first. While talking, he addressed me by my name, which was quite surprising. It's good, isn't it? Being the aide to my lord Choe. Calling each other by our names will make us closer. I'm also quickly feeling a sense of familiarity, so don't worry too much."
"I never told you to get close though…?"
Not content with just addressing each other by name, she even started to follow Kazimierz closely, feeling an increasing sense of intimacy. She went so far as to ask if she could touch his healthy body. Watching this intimate and affectionate interaction from afar, Adrian turned away. What surprised him the most was the inevitable sense of inferiority he felt towards his loyal subordinate.
If not for the curse, there would have been no need to be trapped in this worthless body. There would have been no reason to watch them both like this. No, if he hadn't received Lilith's curse, if he had removed Lilith before.
The arrow of resentment was aimed at the curse, at them, at himself, then bounced back towards Lilith.
"I thought I explained it well enough."
Back to Kazimierz as usual.
He was kneeling in front of him, his head bowed to the ground. His trembling hands, gripping the ground, began to shake.
"How can I make you understand?"
His voice was frozen with frost, even his lungs froze. He trembled like a frog unable to move in front of a snake.
Adrian smiled, showing his teeth. Your healthy body is so helpful. A healthy body is a good subject for experimentation for a torturer. It won't die easily, so you can use any method you like, and it won't end quickly, so you can enjoy the screams for a long time.
"You should focus more on what I'm saying, Kazimierz."
The tip of his shoe nudged Kazimierz's chin. Fear overflowed and dripped down under his chin. Yet, driven by the instinct of power, he looked up at Adrian, worshiping him.
The boiling vitality like molten iron. It was not enough to be anger, and it was not as light as resentment. Beyond all these emotions, he, the elegant king, looked down at the terrified dog.
"Make sure you endure without screaming this time."
Everything around her started to irritate her.
Adrian thought this was love.
"So what? Who said you're inferior to those people? I only have my lord in my heart."
You said I'm the only one.
"I only wanted to be with you, probably."
You said you wanted to be next to me.
"I'm fine as long as I have you."
You said having me is enough.
He received a sentiment he never expected. He happily accepted her confession.
"My Hilda."
My Hilda. Mine. Mine. It sounded good.
Adrian's, Satan's, my Hilda. It fit together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle. Perhaps Hilda's name was born to fit that word, or perhaps it was the opposite, he seriously thought.
My Hilda, my Hilda, my Hilda. He repeated it hundreds of times with unparalleled joy. Hundreds of times were not enough; at least a thousand times seemed necessary to quench his thirst.
"You're so beautiful. I've never seen anything like this before."
Even though it was a simple deception to brighten the surroundings, she found it amazing and delightful. How innocent and lovely it was.
Seeing you made me thirsty. I felt an insatiable thirst. I didn't want to confine you in my arms and let you go.
So I went to see her. After longing for each other, we parted and soon went straight to her room. She might be surprised to find someone in her room in the middle of the night, but at least I didn't go without saying anything, so it should be okay. Technically, I didn't ask for permission, but Hilda often seemed too busy to listen, so I decided to say it was said at that moment.
I'll just quietly look at her face and leave. I won't do anything.
He whispered softly and entered the room. It was a small room where you could count from one end to the other in just a few steps. It was shrouded in pitch darkness, but he could find her with just one glance. Adrian bent his waist in front of the bed, which was only half of what was in his room. Seeing her deeply asleep, he must have been quite tired today.
"Ugh…"
He carefully gathered the stray hairs on her forehead, but when he tried to give them to her, she moved in her sleep, so he let go. Adrian felt a little disappointed and sat on the floor. Then he watched her sleeping figure with a warm gaze.
Watching her like this, strangely, made him thirsty.
"I love you, master."
A seductive voice came from a long-forgotten memory.
"I don't understand."
The answer was quick and firm. Yet she continued to whisper incessantly, as if reciting a spell.
"I love you, I love you. I want to eat you."
"I don't understand."
"I love you…"
"I don't understand."
No, now I understand. Finally, I understand your desires.
Love to a demon is akin to appetite. I don't want to consume you, Hilda. I'm just thirsty. A parched, burning thirst clawed at my throat. It was more akin to desperation than appetite. Lilith, you wanted to devour me with such relentless desperation.
I lowered my head. As our lips lightly met, the burning thirst was somewhat alleviated. It felt like a drop or two of water trickling down a dry throat. The scent of moisture permeated the air and saturated his soul.
I realize now. How much I long for you.
"...?"
My gaze, which had been scanning her face, slowly descended. Shoulders, wrists, waist, legs... Surrounded by a black aura floating around them.
Specters.
I traced back when they began to appear, almost in a fog-like form. Considering the time when my powers had barely returned, I guessed it was since Hilda committed her first murder after the Sungsoo incident. More precisely, it was after completing the first main quest, although Adrian couldn't see the system's existence, it was his best guess.
But this specter wasn't content with merely lingering. Even when it was just a faint presence, it was irksome. It seemed to tug at her as if trying to take her somewhere, and that was annoying enough. At present, it was so weak that it had no effect, but it was clear that if it became thicker and stronger, it would exert an undeniable power. ...Disgustingly so.
Shall I remove it?
He hesitated for a moment.
It might be better to remove it, even if only to dispel the gloom.
But what if Hilda gets angry if I remove it recklessly?
As his hand, which had been moving decisively, reached that thought, it paused. He looked at her, deeply asleep in peace. Just imagining her serene face contorted in anger and spewing curses hurt.
But ultimately, you'll forgive me. You're kind and gentle, so even if you spout harsh words, you'll regret it in no time. So, I could afford to be weak. I'll pour out the eyes and smiles you love. I'll keep smiling like this forever if you want. Even if you hate me, I'll wait until you love me again.
Please forgive this heart of mine. Please understand my desire to hold onto you like this.
His hesitation was brief, his decision swift.
His hand, reaching out without stirring the wind, clenched the smoke. It was the moment he tried to remove it. The smoke that should have fallen away from her body passed through his grip like a lie. It flowed back to Hilda as if filling a hollow and roamed around her again.
"...?"
Adrian was momentarily dumbfounded. It didn't make sense.
Why? Why can't I remove it?
With an impatient urgency, he tried to remove it again. It passed through again. It seemed impossible to handle, like it was a being that his power couldn't affect at all.
It wouldn't come off.
Even when he firmly grasped it and tried to pull it with all his strength, he couldn't make it fall off. He couldn't remove it.
Even though it's a force trying to take you away, I can't remove it...
He looked at the specter again. It wasn't just a specter. Even though less than half of his power had returned, he couldn't possibly be powerless against such a simple specter.
This was an external force. A force from somewhere outside, whose origin and destination he didn't know...
Under its influence, you could disappear.
If you could disappear, it meant you had already disappeared. To Adrian, they were the same.
His hand trembled. The soaring heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. After feeling the peace that came with confirming her heart, a storm came and made everything a mess. He felt restless. He poured out everything without restraint, but there was no one to pick up the pieces. Everything went blank, and the darkness enveloped him. He had never felt so powerless.
"What should I do? How...?"
Hilda. The force, the black smoke, won't detach from you. What should I do? You're the only one I have. If I don't want to lose you, what should I do?
A deep darkness filled his stomach. Because he had never experienced disappointment before, the pit was deep. Fog-like uncertainty was more lethal because he had always ruled everything omnipotently.
The world became frightening. When he thought he had everything when he had her, now he felt vulnerable, as if he were about to lose everything. He had never kept someone precious by his side, so he didn't know how to protect them.
If the Creator sent you to me, was it to save me, to awaken me from my arrogance, or to give me despair?
This wasn't fair. Seeing siblings dying just because they existed, he had witnessed a brother and sister dying. He had torn wings with these hands, mingled among the demons, and played the role of a punisher who made the corrupted soul pay for the sins it committed. For him, whose blood was half angel and half demon, neither side was light.
If I'm to be trapped in a human body and endure all kinds of diseases and suffering, and at the end of time, when I finally have the one thing I desperately desire, I'm told to let go of her.
Please, someone give me confidence. Give me clues to keep her. Fleeing from the room like a fleeing prey, he wandered the deep night withered away like a starving beast. The demon, who had never been afraid of death, wandered in fear.
Should I plunge the world into darkness? Should I extinguish all the lights and shroud it in darkness? If I bury it so deep that I can't see ahead, if I lose my way, and if I become completely dependent on me, can I have you?
But you'll find the answer eventually. You're strong. Even though you're weak, you're strong.
But I have to be complete before that. I have to regain all my power and find a way to completely remove the specter.
All he could do now was to intervene in what the specter allowed and block the influence it exerted on him. Like this, he was about to let her go helplessly. It would vanish like grains of sand slipping through his fingers.
"I have to be complete."
He whispered with utmost urgency. He needed as many sacrifices as possible, as quickly as possible. 400... At least 300. He had to find an opportunity to kill them all at once, avoiding the sentinels' eyes.
Whatever it takes to keep her.
Adrian thought this was love.
Wow, wow. Thank you so much for the translation! I’ve been dying to read this, can’t wait for the next part 😆
I’m so excited for the next chapter! 😍